2006-01-13 [eyes of frost]: -Smiles and takes to her rafters just watching- Anyways. So D came to et his stuff Cory and well...lol...you should have seen it! Marquis had to sit down when he heard, "Well I don't care I still want to know why." And he had tha tlook like, "Oh this is just getting good." That famous Marquis look. Lol

2006-01-16 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Well of course Marquis has his famous look, it's the greatest.

2006-01-17 [eyes of frost]: It was great I am telling you! It sure took away alot of the pain that I was feeling when he just sat down to listen to me...talk AT Damon. You know...D isn't really as smart as I thought he was...I think he smokes WAY to much...and maybe...maybe he did love me you know? I sure as hell don't. Oh well!

2006-01-17 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Well good for you babe!!! At leawst your over D and with Andrew now, he seems like an awesome guy...!! -bounces because she is bored-

2006-01-21 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: How is everyone else doing?

2006-01-24 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: What happened to everyone?

2006-01-25 [Child of God]: I'm still here, but I'm not sure who else! ^-^'

2006-01-26 [*~Sora~*]: Didn't think I would find myself back here....

2006-01-27 [eyes of frost]: Kayla...-runs over and picks her up hugging her- Hey there lovely...how are you?

2006-01-28 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Everyone doing ok>??

2006-01-29 [Our Lady of Sorrow]: well my exboyfreind is going out with my "freind" i told him that if he didnt give me at least a month id kill her... he gave me two weeks... so needless to say her bitchyass is going to be beaten and im going to just... GRRRRRRRRRRR fucking PISSSED

2006-01-29 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Ouch, i'm sorry sweetheart, I hope everything goes ok, you can message me if you'd like to.

2006-01-30 [Our Lady of Sorrow]: Yea. Itll be fine once her face is gone and his has a rockprint on it.

2006-02-03 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Haha...

2006-02-09 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Where'd everyone go?

2006-02-09 [eyes of frost]: Kayla? -Looks around for her attatchment named Kayla- Damn it where did she run off to this time? -Runs off to find her-

2006-02-09 [naughty_goth]: wow thats sounds like it sucks

2006-02-09 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: -Turns around in confusment- Rach!! -runs off after Rachel-

2006-02-12 [*~Sora~*]: *Sora comes out from her hiding place and giggles softly at them

2006-02-12 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: -Looks at Sora- "Hey there"

2006-02-13 [naughty_goth]: so lost

2006-02-13 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: I'm lost constantly so don't worry about it, we can be lost together if need be, haha

2006-02-13 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Hey everyone, I need to ask a favor, i need everyone to look at my profile, and with the utmost honesty tell me what I need to do to make myself look better, i want to impress myself more than anything, i'm a few condensed "labels" you could say, and yes I wiould like to somewhat impress a guy, mind you he has neon blue hair, not your typical prep...<no offense to any of you darlin's>

2006-02-13 [Yuriona]: O_o Sweetie, the best way to impress a guy is to have confidence in yourself, to like who you are the way you are! Be yourself, anything else would be pale in comparison! *hugs* Trust me, you look fab as you are. Enjoy being you and fuck the labels. Go girl! :D

2006-02-13 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Well thanks!! uplifting words that I needed... i'm just tired of being me, a lot of the time...

2006-02-13 [Yuriona]: I know how ya feel. *hugs* Sometimes its hard to like who you are but its the best person you can be!! :D

2006-02-13 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Thank you!! <hugs back>

2006-02-13 [Yuriona]: You're welcome! :) Knock 'em dead!

2006-02-13 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: I'll try my dear!

2006-02-15 [naughty_goth]: good luck you wont need it but its there anyway

2006-02-16 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Awwww thanks you guys, <hugs each of you one by one>

2006-02-17 [eyes of frost]: Grarg...Kayla! -Calls-

2006-02-17 [naughty_goth]: lol *hugs back* no problem

2006-02-17 [*~Sora~*]: *Sora giggles again hearing her name and thinks she has gone far enough and any more would get her into trouble. She whispers so softly*...Rachel, I am right here...

2006-02-21 [naughty_goth]: *watches very confused*

2006-02-21 [eyes of frost]: Kayla....stop running off would ya!

2006-02-21 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: <runs after rachel as she tears ass after Kayla> "RACHEL!!"

2006-02-22 [eyes of frost]: GAH! KAYLA GET THAT LITTLE ASS BACK HERE!!!!....*She sighs and then stops brupt enough to have Cory run into her and she falls face first onto the floor* Owe....so what's up Cor?

2006-02-22 [Acidic Khemica]: .....................................

2006-02-24 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Nothing much Rach, i'll be home soon, i've been working tons of hours with a few different jobs, i am wearing myself out... <puts head on Rachel's shoulder>

2006-02-24 [*~Sora~*]: *giggles and watches them*

2006-02-25 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: <Walks over to Sora> Hey doll, how goes it?

2006-02-25 [Nia_kit]: Hello :3

2006-02-25 [*~Sora~*]: *Sora smiles and stands behind Rachel being shy*...hello...

2006-02-25 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: <Looks at Sora> Sorry if I have scared you, I am just trying to be friendly. <Smiles>

2006-02-26 [eyes of frost]: *Pulls Kayla into a hug* hey baby. What's up? *Looks to Cory* Well, like I said, I am not home. And you know that if you need to talk that you can message me right?

2006-02-26 [*~Sora~*]: *smiles* ...the sky...

2006-03-01 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: <looks at Rachel> Yeah I know you aren't home, you won't be home for another few weeks, i'm moving back down to CT in about 4 months, got to get a few things straightened out before I move back down here.

2006-03-02 [eyes of frost]: Alrighty. So is there anything that you need to talk about? *Loks at Kayla* Stop being a smart ass. I meant what is up with YOU.

2006-03-02 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Nothing to an extreme, just I haven't talked to you in a while and i'm deprived!! <smiles>

2006-03-02 [eyes of frost]: Sorry to hear that.

2006-03-02 [*~Sora~*]: *smiles and tries not to laugh* I know you meant with me. I just could not resist. *looks up at Rachel* I upset Rei...and I have already corrected my mistake, but what I said hurt her....so she is not very happy with me....

2006-03-03 [eyes of frost]: What did you say hun?>

2006-03-03 [*~Sora~*]: *looks down at her feet and twists them so her toes point in. She blushed slightly at being so ashamed*...I told her that she was horrible at raising me...that she was a horrible mother, but I didn't mean it...I was just so nervousand confused already and she kept teaching me. She was trying to get me ready for a big night and she wanted me to act like a little princess. I had to be perfect....

2006-03-05 [eyes of frost]: ...Well then don't you think that you should apologize?

2006-03-05 [*~Sora~*]: I have....a million times. She forgave me, but she wasn't the same for a few days....she was mad at me...I had a talk with her though and it is okay now.

2006-03-05 [eyes of frost]: Okay. As long as everything is okay.

2006-03-10 [*~Sora~*]: Oh! I hate myself! I grrrrrr..................

2006-03-11 [eyes of frost]: Why do you hate youself?

2006-03-11 [*~Sora~*]: ...*shakes her head* nevermind...I won't tell you......if I do it will only make things worse....It is in the past now and I can't change it, but I can learn from it so....that is what I will do.....

2006-03-17 [naughty_goth]: grr ive been gone to long damn curcumstances

2006-04-10 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: How is everyone doing? I'm so out of the loop.... <sits in corner... weeping>

2006-04-21 [*~Sora~*]: is anyone on?

2006-04-21 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: I am... I think that's about it

2006-04-21 [*~Sora~*]: well hello. What are you up to? I am actually in a hotel. I really neat one that pampers you like royalty. It is fun but I don't get to stay the night because I have school....blah!

2006-04-21 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: I'm not doing much.,.. Just hanging out basically.. I wish I could go to a hotel like that.... lol

2006-04-21 [*~Sora~*]: *smiles* I wish I could stay. I want to go to the spa but it is closed and....it not fair! lol

2006-05-10 [Janouk]: Is there anyone around here who knows more about borderline?

2006-05-10 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Borderline what?? There a few things that can be borderline...

2006-05-10 [Janouk]: I don't know exactly...Is there like, a borderline syndrom? I mean when people think black/white, have low self-esteem, even harm themselves and such...

2006-05-11 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Borderline Manic Depressive.... Believe me, I have it as well.

2006-05-12 [Janouk]: So how come you know it is bordeline manic depression that you have, and not something else, like something neurotic? I don't understand what makes borderline so different from any other thing...

2006-06-17 [zeldazebra]: Most things are on a continum mood disorders are no difrent. I do not get the highes but my MD's are trying to tel me I am bipoler (manic depressive). Health care profesionals rather like to use the term borderlind - ____ it give them an out if they are wrong.  Usualy borderline is used when a patient showes some cherictoristics of a condition, but not enough for a difinative Dx.

2006-06-17 [Stray Kitty]: Hmm, like only having a few symptoms of a disorder.

2006-06-18 [zeldazebra]: Yes. For instance DSM IV lists behaviors asoseated with a disorder, and then saies how meny of them must be met to qualify for the Dx. If observation reveals almost enough to qualify and no other Dx is more apropreat, then "borderline ______"

2006-06-18 [Stray Kitty]: Okay. Like you only have a few of the more mild symptoms or an entirely new disorder that they haven't named yet.

2006-06-19 [zeldazebra]: Yes or multaple disorders. A Dsm IV Dx has 5 axes (sp) usualy the first 2 will not be borderline. the others may be borderline or left out. They are not the primary Dx but need to be adressed.

2006-06-19 [Stray Kitty]: What's Dsm IV Dx?

2006-06-19 [Eloura]: *Peaks in quietly*

2006-06-20 [zeldazebra]: DSM IV diagnostic service manule edition 4 is the ofishal list of mental health disorders and there ofichal discription and criterean for diagnosis. much easer to type DSM IV. Dx is an abreveation for diagnosis, often used in the medical field. We wright it a lot.

2006-06-20 [zeldazebra]: A dark heart dont be shy. come on in

2006-06-20 [Eloura]: *walks in* Thank you

2006-06-21 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Sorry I haven't commented in a while... I've been... Dealing...

2006-06-21 [Eloura]: *nods her head ok*

2006-06-21 [Stray Kitty]: Hmm. Do you know where I can find that list for ADD/ADHD?

2006-06-22 [Eloura]: No...

2006-06-25 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: What list do you speak of? I have both... I may be able to help you!

2006-06-25 [Stray Kitty]: DSM IV diagnostic service manule edition 4. It's a couple comments up. I have ADD and had ADHD and I just want to see how I compare to the list.

2006-06-25 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Ahh Ok, I understand now.

2006-06-26 [Eloura]: May i ask an question?

2006-06-26 [Stray Kitty]: Sure

2006-06-26 [Eloura]: How can a person pull themselves out of self depression? Just kinda wonder, what a person can do.

2006-06-26 [Stray Kitty]: How do you know it's self depression? I've never heard that term before so would I be correct in assuming that this is just feeling sorry for yourself instead of actual depression.

2006-06-26 [Eloura]: *blinks* SOrry if i am speacking wrong. I was probaly useing the wrong term. It's just something i have heard depression called. When that person them selves is depressed.

2006-06-26 [Stray Kitty]: So what exactly is it that you have?

2006-06-26 [Eloura]: What exactly might you mean. As in, do you mean am I depressed?

2006-06-26 [Stray Kitty]: Yeah. Like is it the serious medical condition or you're feeling down and sorry for yourself.

2006-06-26 [Eloura]: Truthfully i do not know.

2006-06-26 [Stray Kitty]: Would you liketo continuethis disscussion through private messages or are you fine with it being on this wiki? I've never actually had depression, more like an extended time period of feeling sorry for myself. If it's something serious then you should definately see a professional.

2006-06-26 [Eloura]: I do not care right now, wether we talk about it in here or not. The thing is i do see someone for something like this but everytime she ask's me, i go blank then i seem to lie. But that is another story about me.

2006-06-26 [Child of God]: You should tell your professional about that, since her questions/approach don't seem to be the right one for you. Depression is usually characterized by feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness and cynicism just to name a few symptoms. Your energy level drops and you don't want to be around people, things that you enjoy no longer seem enjoyable and waking up more mornings out of the week feeling this way than not.

2006-06-26 [Eloura]: I do try to, but i get worried about telling her. As far as she knows i am perfectly fine.....

2006-06-26 [Child of God]: Are you intimidated by her in some way or are you worried she will find something wrong with you and maybe that's way you lie?

2006-06-26 [Eloura]: I would think more of the second part, more worried she will find something wrong with me..

2006-06-27 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Sometimes talking to someone close will help out, i've had to do a lot, talking may not seem like the best thing to do, but it sometimes helps.

2006-06-27 [zeldazebra]: What kind of licence does the professional have? Savear dedresion can be hard to relive, and it is often treated by a teem. A psychiotrist is an MD. A psycologist is a PHD. A counsiler is a profesional listener. All of thease have sumething to offer. If medacations are to be considered the MD must be part of the teem. Sometimes depresion requiers medications to treat, but if that is the whole treatment you are limating yourself. Talk honestly and openly to your professional. Nothing you say there will ever leave that office.

2006-06-27 [zeldazebra]: How can a person pull themselves out of self depression? You get help! Treat the depresion, with profesional help. I wish I had not gone it alone so long. I got help after my second suiside atempt. Verry few people through off depression alone. Talk to frends parents profesionals whomever, but talk to someone.

2006-06-27 [Child of God]: If you aren't comfortable around this professional, then she isn't the right one for you. You need one you can feel comfortable with and able to open up to.

2006-06-27 [Eloura]: Ok, Thank you everyone. I will try that.

2006-06-27 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Good luck [Eloura] I hope everything works out.

2006-06-27 [Eloura]: Again thanky ou.

2006-06-27 [Stray Kitty]: Sorry I could be of more help. I hope you get better soon.

2006-06-29 [Eloura]: It's ok.

2006-07-02 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Gahh!!! I feel like tearing my face off....

2006-07-03 [Cathos]: Believe me, from personal experience, that really won't help.

2006-07-03 [Child of God]: *nodds in agreement with Cathos* Chances are you'll forget where you put it once you get it off.

2006-07-04 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Yeah... True... I'd have to agree with you both.

2006-07-04 [Child of God]: ^-^ *hands Insanity a safety box* Here, if your gonna do it be safe! Don't saw without the safe!

2006-07-05 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Thank you COG. I appreciate it.

2006-09-08 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Where'd everybody run off to? *ish confused while looking around for everyone while scratching head with one finger*

2006-09-08 [Eloura]: *waves hello*

2006-09-08 [Child of God]: *creaps up from behind* GOTTA!!! *glomps*

2006-09-09 [zeldazebra]: Working for a change. hope this job lasts.

2006-09-09 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Oh! Good for you Doc! I still haven't gotten a job yet, but i'm still looking.

2006-09-11 [Eloura]: *jumps* ahh

2006-09-11 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: *catches ADH* You ok hun?

2006-09-11 [Eloura]: Yea i think so. Thank yu.

2006-09-12 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: You're very welcome.

2006-09-14 [Eloura]: Again thank you. *kinda wanders off in her own thoughts*

2006-09-15 [zeldazebra]: Now with a job I can start to beat back the creadators. *Howoool* excuse me.... OK just a wolf at the door. Les scary now that I have something to feed them with.

2006-09-15 [Eloura]: *smiles* YAY

2006-09-15 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Yesh. Lol.

2006-09-15 [Child of God]: Don't ya just love those rabbid carnivores that never seem to be sated?

2006-09-16 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Carnivores are cute.

2006-09-21 [zeldazebra]: I feed them and they go away till next month. Some are cute. *scraches ears of wolf labled student loan* Back to reality as things get better in my life, writting is getting harder. Last year I could not get it on the paper fast enough to keep up with the flood of ideas and emotions. Most of it was not verry good but Three stories of value came out of that. Now finishing the stories is comming harder and slower. The most compleat is on elfwood jeanette.

2006-09-21 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: You just have to keep trying, with me, writing poetry is getting so hard now that Ic an't even get a straight-out thought onto paper. I try so hard, yet I still fail, but in any case you must keep going and keep trying because if you don't in the end it won't be as worth it as you would like to be.

2006-09-22 [zeldazebra]: Thank you. I spend some time polishing what I have written often I can push on beond to get a litle new writting.

2006-09-26 [Eloura]: Good luck both of you with writting your stories.

2006-09-27 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Aww, Thank you Eloura! Very kind-hearted of you.

2006-09-28 [zeldazebra]: Thank you

2006-09-29 [Eloura]: Your welcome.

2006-12-07 [Akayume]: Hmm....I'm glad I stumbled upon this wiki.

I'm really happy that people are willing to help. See, I've known people who go to get help, and no one will listen...tis sad.

2006-12-08 [Eloura]: It is sad.

2006-12-08 [Akayume]: Very. It just makes yea feel more alone...

Yeah, this has happened to me too. O.o I seem to know alot of depressed people..

2006-12-08 [Eloura]: *nods head understanding* It hurt's, it makes you feel as if no one cares, even if it isn't rue. Correct?

2006-12-08 [Akayume]: Correct. Then you get more depressed, and it only gets worse..

2006-12-08 [Eloura]: Until you feel as if you are falling down a deep well and will never get out, and from their it only gets worse till you either hit bottom or find a way out, safly..

2006-12-08 [Akayume]: Yeah. And then you feel like the only way out is to kill yourself, as if you'll never be happy again. You think that no one likes you, that you're alone, and always will be.

2006-12-08 [Eloura]: But sometimes you will find out it's not true and you will rise back up to only fall back down.. Right?

2006-12-08 [Akayume]: Right.

Or you fool yourself, thinking, "Thre's nothing wrong with me." and you make yourself happy. You make it so your friends even think you're okay. But you aren't.

2006-12-08 [Eloura]: You will keep them so fooled, that can think you can fool your parents, teacher's family, but the only one you are truly truly truly are fooling is yourself. Because insie it eats away at you peice by peice till you either break down and kill yourself, or break down and tell someone, once in a while you feel like you are better, Oh and your friends might figure it out in the end. Right?

2006-12-08 [Akayume]: Right. And you'll have long periods where you're okay. At least, you think you're okay. But you aren't.

2006-12-08 [Eloura]: *nods head agreeing* Then all of a sudden it will hit again just when you think you are fully over it. And all of a sudden you wish you could, or would just die......

2006-12-08 [Akayume]: Right. And then you think that maybe, just maybe if you died, you wouldn't suffer anymore.

Or you see happy people who are loved, and you wish that you were loved.

2006-12-13 [Eloura]: *nods head agreeing*

2006-12-14 [Akayume]: *sigh* tis a sad thing.

2006-12-15 [Eloura]: Yes.

2006-12-16 [Akayume]: And today I found out..that a boy at my school killed himself last night. It was horrible...

2006-12-16 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Oh my word. That's horrible *hug*

2006-12-17 [Akayume]: *hugs back* It was terrible at school.....I mean, it was so quiet..so many people crying....It was hard for me not to cry (I didn't know him very well....)

2006-12-17 [Eloura]: I'm sorry.

2006-12-17 [Akayume]: It's alright...just..very sad...

2006-12-17 [Eloura]: understandable

2006-12-17 [Akayume]: I feel really bad for some of my best friends...who were his best friends.

2006-12-17 [Eloura]: It's understandable

2006-12-17 [Akayume]: But we'll move along eventually...

2007-06-16 [Nuriko-kun]: Eheh... I see no one's commented on here for a while. I just thought I should join in, at least to help those who feel the same way as I do.

2007-06-17 [Q_Q]: hey all whats new

2007-06-17 [Eloura]: Not much... You?

2007-06-20 [Nuriko-kun]: not much ^^

2007-06-20 [Eloura]: Ok...

2007-06-20 [zeldazebra]: A frend of mine may have lost someone close to sewaside. He says she said she was going to kill herself and he has lost contact. It has been a week and I have herd nothing from either of them. He sounded dispondent I fear for them both.

2007-06-21 [Eloura]: I'm so sorry. Is there anything i can do to help?

2007-07-17 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: I'm here too if you need anything.

2007-07-18 [Eloura]: *nods head and just kindac sits there and say's* I think i may need help.....

2007-07-18 [Nuriko-kun]: Don't we all? =_=

2007-07-18 [Eloura]: *nods head sadly*

2007-07-18 [Intolerant Of Hatred]: Well i'm having issues too, so don't feel bad. sad face

2007-07-18 [zeldazebra]: I finally herd from him, and he has heard from her. She is in the hospital, but will be alright! He is beside himself! They have a long way to go but she promises not to drop out of sight like that again without talking to him first. That is a step. Thank you people for the support.

2007-07-19 [Eloura]: Your welcome, and i'm gald he's heard from her.

2008-01-17 [*~Sora~*]: I really hope that somebody is on right now because I need help...

2008-01-17 [Mordigen]: I'm online if you need some help

2008-01-17 [Eloura]: I'm here.

2008-08-02 [~Valkyrie~]: Do I need to ask permission to put my username up as a volunteer, or should I just put it up on the wiki?

2008-08-02 [~Valkyrie~]: Nevermind, I went back and reread the wiki

2008-08-22 [i am jack's box]: nice.... sad to say that i haven't been around here, but i am glad that my creation of Anti-Suicide wiki 5 years ago has evolved to this. i know i might get spammed like all hell.... but if anyone needs to talk, my number is 773-401-2208 in the states if you are able to call in the US. Don't fret about time, my phone is always here

I am jack's box

2008-08-22 [Eloura]: nice to see your coming back though

2008-08-22 [Akayume]: Ugh. Depression is.... tiring. Especially when it comes and goes. :/ But what doesn't kill only makes one stronger, right? (:

2008-08-22 [Eloura]: *huggles you* It is tiring and supposedly it makes you stronger.. i'm still looking for that proof though

2008-08-22 [Akayume]: Same here. :/ *hugs back*

2008-08-22 [Eloura]: I'll let you know if i find anything ok? *hugs agian* I'm here though if you need to talk ok/

2008-08-22 [~Valkyrie~]: Right. :)

2008-08-23 [i am jack's box]: You know what else is tiring? being busy! One thing that got me out of my rut was simply doing something active. Like.... I love judo, and just wrestling someone for like 10 min even, releases so much stress. Endorphines start running and I swear you feel sooooooooo much better. That and moshing..... I should probably start a list of things to do.....

2008-08-26 [*~Sora~*]: I miss karate very much. My mom said I had to start paying for my classes if I kept going, but I didn't have the money so I had to quit!*crosses arms* I just got my blue stripe too, but I couldn't go to the ceremony to get it.

2008-08-27 [i am jack's box]: any clubs at the school? for me, it ranges for like 20-60 bucks a semester. from shinkendo to karate

2008-09-02 [*~Sora~*]: I'm graduated now...but even then they didn't have many clubs that interested me *shrugs*

2009-02-13 [TheRogue]: I am so glad to wander by here and see it is still going strong.. thank you everyone for helping me keep this wiki active. It means alot to me.

2009-02-15 [Janouk]: I know that back in the days I thought it was a good wiki. Good initiative.

2009-02-20 [*~Sora~*]: yeah...this wiki helped me so much! I have not hurt myself in any way for almost three years! yay! *claps*

2009-12-23 [naughty_goth]: ello all